Suspension slop

Isn’t a six-game suspension a little too harsh for calling an ex-girlfriend “sloppy seconds?”

Sure, the phrase is kinda dirty and graphic — the Philadelphia Inquirer ran a parenthesied “former girlfriends” in place of it — but Sean Avery’s comment about a former ladyfriend really had nothing to do with his team or league.

I’m sure the NHL has some sort of positive, upstanding image it’s trying to project or something, but still: one game would be too harsh for a comment unrelated to anything league-related. A single game might be more justifiable, but it’d still be too harsh.

Seriously: were people that offended?

NHL players may as well not be allowed to have opinions on politics, music, or what restaurants to visit for dinner.

It must be Avery’s history of being ornery, wanting to be a fashion designer, and forcing rule changes for obnoxiously exploiting loopholes in the league’s rules.

Either that, or the NHL recognizes that most people probably wouldn’t have heard about the incident if Avery weren’t suspended for it. Take an overly-aggressive moral highground, suspend your league’s most controversial player, and get some pub.

Any publicity’s good publicity, right?

Out of all of this, though, one aspect I found highly amusing was how Avery’s apology didn’t address the sloppy second in question, Elisha Cuthbert — a.k.a. Jack Bauer’s daughter.

So maybe the six-game suspension was a pre-emptive measure.

Afterall, the NHL sure doesn’t need Jack Bauer on its bad side.